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American Twitter Essays

March 24, 2016 | 0 Comments | Leave A Comment
American Twitter Essays


Declaration of Independence, 4 July 1776


  1. All men are created equal.
  2. MT: Some men are created equal.
  3. We’ll call it “The United States of America.”


F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, First Published 10 April 1925


  1. In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
  2. But I’m going to ignore that advice and spend the rest of the GR8 Gatsby criticizing people.
  3. Millionaire bootlegger Jay Gatsby loves GGGB Daisy Buchanan who is married to MOFO Tom Buchanan who is having an affair w/ HOE Myrtle, wife of POS mechanic George Wilson.
  4. Jay says “Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can!”
  5. Turns out you can’t.
  6. Daisy D.U.I. Runs over Myrtle. #Coincidence Jay goes swimming. George Wilson kills him. Daisy and Tom stay rich and married. #CarelessPeople
  7. So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
  8. FTC: @Hemingway YOLO!


John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Inaugural Address, 20 January 1961


  1. My fellow Americans: ask what your country can do.
  2. MT: Ask what your country can do for you.
  3. MT: Ask not what your country can do.
  4. MT: Ask not what your country can do for you.
  5. RT: @BobbyFK “Ask what you can do for your country?”
  6. Thx @BobbyFK! – And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you–ask what you can do for your country. BFN.


Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, 19 November 1863


  1. ICYMI: Big thx to @Everett for his 2 hour 13,607-word speech. I’m sure no one is tired.
  2. Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation. #ThrowBackThursday #1776
  3. Some things change. Some things stay the same. We’re still fighting but now we’re fighting each other. WTF?
  5. Exactly. No matter what we do we’ll never equal dying. All we can do is stay the course. #FTW
  6. So that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. #FF @USGrant @WillSherman


George H. W. Bush, Speech at Penn State University, 23 September 1992


  1. “Thank you very, very much. What a wonderful rally. What a great day at Penn State. Thank you. Thank you, Coach Paterno.”



Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman, Opened on Broadway 10 February 1949

  1. @Biff – “I realized what a ridiculous lie my whole life has been.”
  2. If you’re going to live in America it RLY helps to have a hobby.


Joseph Heller, Catch 22, first published 11 November 1962


  1. That’s some catch, that Catch-22.
  2. It’s the best there is.
  3. That’s some catch, that Catch-22.
  4. It’s the best there is.



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